My dick is kinda small. Not tiny, but definitely smaller than average. Small enough that I remember a lot of teasing in the high school locker room. To this day I’m still shy about showing my body to anyone. Thankfully, most girls are too polite to say anything, and so after going out with a few girls in college I got to the point where I could strip off in front of a girl without too much embarrassment. It still makes me a little nervous though, enough that I pay close attention to a girl’s expression when she first sees me naked. It’s pretty telling that none of the girls I’ve slept with have had an enthusiastic reaction when they’ve seen my dick, and none of them stayed with me very long.
Until Jess, that is. My girlfriend Jess and I got together 18 months ago. My friends tell me she’s way out of my league, and I have to agree. She’s 22, blonde, blue-eyed, with large firm boobs and a tight body. I couldn’t believe my luck when she agreed to go out with me, and was psyched when she slept with me on the first date. For her it was as casual as trying on a pair of jeans. For me, it was the night of a lifetime. I mean, she is seriously hot and I never imagined I would get to sleep with anyone half as sexy as her. At the end of our date she invited me in to her apartment and poured me some wine. Before I had finished half of it she pushed me down on the couch and pulled off my clothes.
I watched her face carefully as she slipped my boxers down past my little dick. There was definitely a hitch there, a moment in which she seemed to be deciding whether to continue. Then she gave a little shrug and dropped her face into my lap. She held my dick between her thumb and index finger and rapidly swiped her tongue around the head. It made my dick tingle like it had been shot with novocaine. It was an exquisite feeling. She drew it out for several minutes, making sure not to stroke me. Instead she aggressively licked the head all over with the flat of her tongue. She was able to heighten that tingling feeling to the point that waves of sensation went up the back of my neck and all over my body.
Just when I thought I couldn’t possibly take it any more—I was begging for release—she popped my dick in her mouth and started forcefully sucking me. I mean, it felt like I had put my dick in the hose of a canister vacuum. After about five or six forceful sucks, I blew a load down her throat. She just gulped it down, licked her lips and grinned at me, before grabbing my wine glass and sucking the rest of it down.
I was stunned. Before I met Jess I could at least take pride that my small dick had staying power. I had never jizzed in a woman’s mouth before, and I could last maybe forty-five minutes when I was pumping a vagina. With Jess, it was more like fifteen seconds from when the sucking began.
“I’m sorry”, I said.
“You know, for popping off in your mouth. I should have warned you.”
“Oh, don’t worry about it. If I didn’t want that to happen I wouldn’t have blown you so hard. I kinda like it, actually.”
“Wow, okay. That’s great. But, um, it kind of doesn’t leave anything for you.”
She looked down at my spent erection and just laughed. “No worries”, she said airily, “you can do me with your tongue.”
I don’t really like cunnilingus. I had tried it once before and it was pretty nasty. I mean, the girl just tasted bad. But as I was trying to figure out a polite way to decline, Jess jumped up and pulled her clothes off, climbed up on the couch and pushed her muff into my face. Shy of pushing her off of me, there wasn’t much I could really do. So I got to licking. Tentatively, at first. Surprisingly, she tasted okay. I mean, it wasn’t chicken parmesan but it wasn’t bad either. She wasn’t satisfied with my pathetic licks, and she grabbed the back of my head and started mashing my face into her crotch. I had to lick harder in self-defense, just to keep my nose from being crushed against her clit. At first I was really miserable. I mean, I couldn’t breathe, I couldn’t see anything, and I had a 120 pound person crushing my face. Her thighs pressing against the sides of my head were making me claustrophobic.
Then I started to get into it. I think it was because she really seemed to be enjoying what I was doing. That was a first for me. She was panting like a dog and bucking back and forth, rubbing her pussy lips all over me. Looking up, I could watch her big boobs swinging back and forth, and admire the flatness of her belly. Towards the end, she mashed her clit against my tongue and bucked back and forth, moaning loudly and shaking her whole body. Then she tensed and held herself quite still. I could feel her pussy lips pulsing against my chin.
With that she fell back on the couch, exhausted. She didn’t say another word, just took my arm and pulled me into her bedroom where we collapsed into a blissful sleep.
This is where it gets a little weird. I told you we’ve been together 18 months, right? Well, technically that’s true, in that I moved in with her shortly after that. But my dick has never been inside her vagina. Not once. Some people would say we never consummated our relationship. We live together, we share a bed, eat together, sleep together. In every other way we are a normal couple. Once in a while she gives me one of her incredible blowjobs. And always, right after that, she climbs on top of me and fucks my face. I won’t say I give her head, because really she’s giving it to herself. She just wails on my face with her gorgeous little cunt until she shudders in orgasm. Every single time. I can take pride in that, at least.
The other part I’m not so proud of. I mean, if I knew you I wouldn’t tell you this. None of my friends know. It’s only in this anonymous forum I can share my secret. I’ll start at the moment where things got seriously fucked up.
A couple of months after that first night when Jess and I got together, we were sitting at the kitchen table drinking coffee. Jess looked incredible as always. Her pajamas, while fairly conservative, were gapping open as she talked, her heavy breasts straining at the buttons. I remember that detail because it was the one thing that kept me from getting up and walking out on her. She was leaning toward me sipping her coffee, so I had a great view right down the front of her pajama top.
“I need more”, she said. No preamble, no beating around the bush.
“Okay, sure. I agree, we’ve been in a bit of a rut.” By which I meant: Yes! Let’s fuck!
But that wasn’t what she had in mind. “I’ve been thinking about how I can get what I need. You’re good in bed and all, but sometimes a girl just needs a good deep dicking. You know what I mean?”
“Sure hon, I’ve been wanting to fuck too. I’ve been wondering when we were going to get around to that.” I was getting pretty excited about this turn of events. I had tried to fuck her before and she had always shut me down. The idea of finally getting in that tight little pussy, watching her tits bounce up and down while I fucked her, I couldn’t wait to get started. I mean, I was ready to go right then.
“No hon, that’s not what I meant. I’m sorry, but you’re not nearly big enough to get me off.”
“Wait, what? What do you mean? I mean, how do you know that?” I was stunned. Here was the girl I loved, this gorgeous woman with an incredible body that I was aching to fuck, telling me that my penis was not big enough for her.
“You’re just going to have to trust me on this. I’ve had a few men before, you know. Well, more than a few. And you’re definitely not big enough for me.”
“Oh.” You can imagine how I felt. I wanted to just slink off and never be seen again. I mean, that is pretty much as low as it gets for a guy. I might have a small dick but that doesn’t make me any less of a man, and like most men I had a pretty healthy ego. Had.
Now I know what you’re thinking. I should have left. I should have said “fuck you, then, I’m out of here, you slut!” Yelled at her, stormed out, or at the very least said goodbye and left with my head held high. But that’s not what I did. I don’t know if this makes me a loser or not, but at the time I was thinking, there is no way I could ever get a girl this hot again. I love her and I want to make her happy. Let’s see what she has in mind. Maybe I can get her off some other way.
“Maybe a dildo then? We could find you something that’s, you know, the right size for you…”
“No, absolutely not”, she said. “That would just be so pathetic, settling for a piece of plastic when there are so many better options.”
“Ooo-kay”, I said, getting a little nervous about where this was heading. “What are we talking about, then?”
At this point she kind of halted, licked her lips, glanced at me quickly sideways. I remember this because she is normally not shy to voice her opinions. Her self-assuredness was the thing that drew me to her in the first place. Well, that and her killer body.
“I had this guy once. Not exactly a boyfriend. I mean, that would be weird. He was just kind of a, you know, fuck buddy. He’s not the marrying kind, ya know, not even the dating kind. Just somebody I used to hook up with once in a while.”
At this point she stopped and looked at me. I was too stunned to answer. I just kind of gawked at her.
“Soooo, anyway, I was thinking maybe we could invite him over once in a while, when I’m feeling, you know, especially horny, and he could take care of me.” Then she batted her big blue eyes at me in that way women do when they are trying to be irresistible. It wasn’t really working. I mean, this was the furthest idea from my mind. I wanted to be the one to fuck her. She was my girlfriend. Why would I want some other guy to come over and fuck her? That was my job. That’s pretty much the definition of a boyfriend, isn’t it? The guy that gets to be the one to fuck you. The only one to fuck you.
“So what do you think?” She asked, too lightly.
I know now where I made my mistake. This was the exact moment. Looking back on a situation later, it’s always easy to identify where things went off the rails. I mean, that’s where you say no thanks, I’m not into that, and I’m not into any woman that’s into that, I thought I was more than that to you, blah blah blah. I didn’t say any of that. What I said was—
“So, who is this guy?”
And that’s when she knew she had me. She immediately brightened and started telling me about him.
“His name is Pete, he lives about an hour away, he is tall and good-looking and very self-assured, he has lots of women always chasing after him but so far none of them have caught him, ha-ha, so there would be no attachments, he would be the perfect guy for us to hook up with!”
After babbling on like this for a while she stopped and looked at me, obviously quite pleased with herself for coming up with the idea. But I had only been half-listening, because in my mind the film was playing. You know the one. The one with tall handsome guy on top of my beautiful blonde girlfriend, shoving his big dick into her over and over while she screams bloody murder. I was starting to feel a little sick to my stomach. More than a little.
“So how big IS this guy?” was all I could ask. I didn’t want to know. I really didn’t want to know. But I couldn’t stop myself from asking. I mean, this guy had fucked my girlfriend, more than once apparently. He used to stick his big dick in the same woman who was sitting in front of me with her boobs poking out of her pajamas, the same gorgeous woman who, despite having a healthy sexual appetite, nevertheless did not think my penis worthy of putting inside of her. I had to know just what exactly she considered a good enough penis for her. More than that, I had to know if he was as big as the guy in the film playing inside my head. ‘Cause that guy was really big, and she was really into his dick. Really, really into his dick. He didn’t have to lick her, he didn’t have to be satisfied with a quick blow job. He got to just shove that big thing all the way up into her, and she was enjoying the hell out of it.
“Oh, he’s not huge or anything, not porn star big. That shit is so overrated. I mean, who wants to have one of those big things stuffed inside of you. It’s not worth it to be walking around in pain for days.”
Even in the daze I was in, the implications were not lost on me. She had fucked a guy who was “porn star big” before. I had to let that one go for now. That way was madness.
“So how big is he, then?”
“Oh, you guys are so hung up on size! I don’t know how big he is, I just know he fits me perfectly, that’s all. He’s big enough, okay?”
“I’m hung up on size? I’m hung up on size? You’re the one who won’t fuck me because I’m too small! You’re the size queen!”
At this point the smile dropped off Jess’s face like a window being slammed down. She quietly got up from the table and stalked off to the bedroom. She got dressed for work and left without another word.
I called in sick that day and stayed home, feeling sorry for myself. But of course, that wasn’t the end of it. After moping around half the day, I went to a porn site and started watching videos. Anything to cheer me up. I watched a few videos, but they didn’t do anything for me. So I typed a search term in the box and looked through the results until I found just the right video. I dropped my pants and watched it with my mouse in one hand and my sad, unwanted little dick in the other.
You know what kind of movie I watched. God help me, I tried to get it out of my head but I couldn’t.
“Big Cock Fucks Blonde Girlfriend.”